dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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