I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just had sex on a roof
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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