my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
