I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
