I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
