I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
