fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
