should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
