I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
