It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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