You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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