so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
