Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
