just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
