How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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