I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
