I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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