I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
