Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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