My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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