Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
ok first of all what the fuck
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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