I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
