drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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