She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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