the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
