Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
