these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
