There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
