a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
