you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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