I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
