i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
