that's an acceptable place to lick
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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