Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
