Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
