Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
