So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
