What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
