ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Randomize
