If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
