she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
