I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
vagina is talking i cant
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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