Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
