I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
