I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
