just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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