I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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