i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
