I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
