Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You ruined the universe
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
