someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
