you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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