We won't sleep together?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
