last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
