if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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