Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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