I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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